More than An Observer
by Wrathie Winsre
Summary: This was the world line he wanted to be in, and the world line when he said the right words to the one he loved.


_More than An Observer_

_Original Concept: Steins;Gate_

..

_Created by: 5pb and Nitroplus_

_written by: wrathie_

_Author's Notes: One Shot_

* * *

**Author's Notes: Ah, my take on Steins;Gate's true end. In any case, I did pour alot of my emotions into this one, and it's loosely based off on the Steins;Gate Movie, loosely, because it ended up having similar premises. So the ending would also be kinda similar, only I pushed the whole thing forward.**

**Kurisu was so derey-derey then, and if Okabe had treated her seriously, I feel this would be what would happen. It's not like Okabe isn't smart, he's just a tsundere too. :laughs:**

**Just thank Catherine for this again, I love her, you guys should too! And finally, thank you _bowpurity_ for betaing this a little as well, but my main beta for this fic is: XoreandoX, I'm overworking him...**

* * *

**oreandoX: Well, I haven't watched Steins;Gate or played the VN so I certainly have almost no context in regards to this One-Shot/Omake, however from a beta's perspective; this was definitely something the author was very passionate about, and it showed from the number of stuttering thoughts that were in the first draft. So without further delay enjoy the fic, and for the authors out there; Keep on Writing.**

* * *

Okabe Rintarou, Hououin Kyouma looked at the eight pin badges that he held in his hands, one for each of the lab members of the Future Gadget Laboratory before smiling in nostalgia.

They were different from what Amane Suzuha, the future daughter of his right hand man, Hashida Itaru had shown him. To be specific, he acknowledged all of the members and not the few who could, _might_ and would betray him. The part-time warrior, and in many occasions, his savior in the hellish and unforgettable three weeks of summer that he had to endured would never exist in this world line, well, she would, but seven years in the future.

Microwave Telephones, D-mail, Sern, dystopia, Word Lines, divergence, saving, dying, helplessness... those terrible times filled with despair, helplessness and all so many pain... But it had all started because he had been foolish, he had played with the tools of god, one that a human should never be allowed to be given.

He was at fault, so he had to make it right– but is it justified? After all the things he did to his friends, his allies...his loved ones, the sacrifices he made.

Amane Suzuha was the first out of all of them to be sacrificed by him, or perhaps, to be 'saved' by him.

The fate that would befall Amane Suzuha, lab member number 008 due to his actions was terrible.

He _killed_ her, there's no doubt about it, he _killed_ Amane Suzuha with his bare hands, dooming her mission and as she had wrote before:

She had failed, failed, failed, failed, failed, FAILED, FAILED – IN THE END HER LIFE WAS USELESS, USELESS – BECAUSE OF HIM IT WAS USELESS, ALL USELESS, FAIL, FAIL, FAILED!

Rintarou clutched his head in pain, his eyes clenched shut as he tried to suppress the feeling of guilt and pain again.

It was his fault, all of it – and he was shouldering not just his failure of Suzuha's failed mission, of breaking Feiris' dream of meeting with his father. Of breaking Rukako's dream of being a woman, of killing Moeka, Mr. Braun and leaving his daughter to face the world without him at her side.

And Mayuri, she had to die, she _had _to die, the world demanded her death, she had to die, die, no one can stop it, she will die, she IS going to DIE, bloodonhisface, bloodonherface, blood everywhere, blood, blood – everywhere, nowhere was safe, she will die, how will she die this time? Many times she died, yes, she'll die, die die, diieeee because of HIM, HIS FAULT, BECAUSE HE HAD TO PLAY GOD – D-MAIL, MUST DESTROY MICROWAVE PHONE NOW, NOW, WHERE' THE IBM 5100? AT THE SHRINE? DID FEIRIS' DAD DIE? WHAT DID HE DO WRONG THIS TIME? SERN, SERN – THEY ARE COMING, THE ROUNDER, THE ORGANIZATION IS HERE!

'Okabe-san?' The sound of the nurse shook him out of his downward spiral and he gave her a small smile as he wiped the sweat from his brows.

'You don't look alright, you're drenched in cold sweat... do you want me to get the doctor?' She asked in concern as she fussed over Rintarou. She placed the back of her hand against his forehead and frowned when she felt a bit of temperature.

'You have a slight fever, Okabe-san, maybe you shouldn't be discharged today.' She said so tentatively but he shook his head.

'I'm fine... I might have been, having a few nightmares... I would like some sleeping pills...' He asked softly and the nurse nodded her head dubiously before leaving him alone.

..

It has been a month since he had reached the Steins;Gate world line, and although he has accomplished what he wanted to. Although he wanted to scream in triumph and to tell the world that he had succeeded, he had defeated the conspiracy, prevented World War III and prevented the world from being a dystopia, it was a victory only he would know about.

Much like how it has always been.

'Yes, it's me. No, the world will never know, the organisation's plans has been stopped for now. Yes, there is no doubt about it, a mad scientist like me, Hououin Kyouma would not be held back by the mortal frame that is myself! Yes, we should keep in touch. El. Psy. Congroo.' Rintarou's grin faded the moment he stuffed his cellphone back into his pocket.

It was his security blanket of sorts, when he was Hououin Kyouma he could forget a little, of the burden, the fear, the pain – the regret, everything that he has felt in the Alpha and Beta World Lines.

But it was over, it was – but everything was still, so fresh in his mind. He didn't know how to deal with it, and so he rested and tried to sleep and recover as best as he could. He wanted to be distracted, and the many times that Mayuri came by, he had been forced by the urge to hug her or to recoil away as the image of his dearest childhood friend overlapped with the dying Mayuri.

Whenever Daru did visit, he also had to stop himself from asking about Sern, telling him to _never_ ever use a microwave together with a phone again. He was even considering buying or breaking the large television owned by Mr. Braun in his shop so no more accidental experiments involving time-travel would _ever_ work again.

But even he realized that he was slowly going towards the deep end, sinking himself into the paranoia that he had developed to survive, to escape and to be here in this world line.

'… This is not befitting of you, mad scientist you... don't you remember what you would be like, 15 years later?' Rintarou commented to himself as he tried to cheer himself up. One perk of being a chuunibyou (one with teenage delusions), was that he could speak to himself without being treated seriously.

He had succeeded, and his dream of seeing Makise Kurisu and Shiina Mayuri live happily, without worry in this world line was granted. His dearest childhood friend won't die, his... assistant, would continue to live, to think, and to make her own way towards the future.

That was enough – this was what he had been fighting for, but he had to just wonder... was it too late for him?

* * *

His first stop was at the Yanabayashi Shrine, to visit Lab Member 006, Urushibara Ruka and he had to suck in his breath to not remember what the two of them had gone through together.

The feelings this _boy, no girl, _no Ruka was a boy, he was definitely a boy, his mother didn't eat so many vegetables so he would be a woman. There was no D-Mail, there was no _date_, they did not kiss – did they kiss?! He did not have feelings for him, no, he was a boy, his disciple, all of it jumbling, mixing, which was real, which was _fake_ which was the WORLD LI-

'Okabe-san!' His voice called out to him and Rintarou looked up to give his discipline a small smile.

'Rukako, you have gotten sharper, to think you would sense the presence of the great mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma. Impressive, young one.' He scoffed while giving him praise. The young man craved it, practically lapped it up from him as he smiled at him. The way he reacted, a shy smile with a blush on his face as he commented and asked him about his training and his debut cosplay made it so hard for him not to remember, to associate, to have the memory overlap _again_.

Ruka is a boy – not a girl – she was not in love with him, he did not go out with him and have a child?!

'Okabe-san, are you okay? Do you want some water?' Rukako's cry of concern shook him out of his thoughts again and he grimaced. The memories he had been trying to repress had brought about new ones, ones he didn't remember seeing.

'Reading... Steiner?'

'Okabe-san! Answer me, please!' Rukako's panicked voice made Rintarou look up before crossing his arms, wiping the cold sweat from his brows before letting loose his trademark laughter.

'FuAHAHAHA! You have just witnessed the evolution of what has been granted to me, READING STEINER HAS EVOLVED!' As he screamed his declaration to the world, no one would know that it was not Hououin Kyouma that was cursing the world, it was Okabe Rintarou as he wondered, panicked and held himself together at the same time.

He, will not break apart now – not when he hadn't, done what he wanted to do.

Even, if pin badge number 004 would never be given to the person who should have it.

* * *

After saying goodbye to Rukako, and reassuring that he was fine, Rintarou continued along his path to Mayqueen where another member of the Future Gadget Laboratory, Lab Member 007 to be specific, would be.

Feiris NyanNyan, the café owner of the Maid Café Mayqueen – her real name is Akiha Rumiho, a name that he shouldn't know as she had not shared it with him yet.

He wondered briefly if he should tease her with it, but decided against it as he engaged with the usual crazy antics with Feiris after ordering his drink.

She was such a strong person, going through so many years without her father, without letting him know she loved him, always regretting the last memory he had of her was the two of them arguing, of her never apologizing and taking him from granted.

It was Feiris who made Akihabara into the place of Moe – without her, this place would remain as the electronics hub of Japan and would never develop as it was – and the IBM 5100 – it would never be here, Suzuha's mission would have failed and it would be use-

Stop, stop, don't think. Don't remember, you are not her prince, there is no need to save her from those punks. She did not confess to him, she did not want to stay with him and definitely did not hug or kiss each other.

When did they met? Through Daru? Or had he always known her? Didn't he play Rainet with her – no, that's wrong, no, that didn't happen – this is, Steins'gate's choice!

'Kyouma... you don't look too good nyan...' Feiris spoke softly as she stared at him, concern written deeply in her eyes, she even placed her serving tray down to hold his hands.

'Your hands, they are shaking... Kyouma?' She sounded scared, and he realized he was gripping his iced-coffee so tight his knuckles had turned white.

'Is... there something wrong with Feiris, Kyouma? You've... looking at me odd...' Feiris' face was blushing a little and Rintarou had to stop himself from thinking the obvious.

'Mmm... so you noticed me practising my new secret technique, Bewitching Eyes of Asmodoeus – shall I teach you this secret technique, Feiris NyanNyan?' Rintarou bellowed, causing Feiris to perk up in relief, and perhaps a little disappointment as they continued to banter with each other.

All the while, Rintarou asked himself: 'Why, why am I remembering more?'

..

Is this... truly, Steins;Gate's choice?

* * *

The Future Laboratory, the place where the World Lines diverted, where the dystopia of SERN was created, where World War III was stopped. Perhaps it should be gazetted as an official heritage location?

It was also ironic too that it was home to one of the agents of SERN who would have sent the order to capture and kill them once they discovered that the Future Laboratory had discovered a way to achieve Time Travel.

The owner of the two-story shop, Braun Tube Workshop, Tennouji Yuugo, Tennouji Nae was standing beside another Future Lab Member.

The Rounder, FB and his subordinate together with the potential future agent of SERN after his father killed himself after compromising his identity to him.

They were after the IBM 5100, the only computer to be able to decode the secret research documents of SERN, the Jellyman Reports, how they were monitoring the world for any signs of time travel, everything was under their grasp.

And at the heart of it, despite them being on the lowest rung of the ladder, Mr. Braun(Yuugo) and Kiryou Moeka, Lab Member 005, was responsible for the many deaths of Mayuri, they had stormed the lab to try and take all of them prisoner.

In the mess, she had shot Mayuri without any hesitation, she had ran over her, stabbed her and killed her in so many ways because she was supposed to be an _example_ of what would happen if they resisted.

She _killed_ Mayuri countless times, but she too was a victim, she hung herself after delivering the IBM 5100 to her handler, F.B.

She was a murderer and a victim, and... Rintarou had forgiven her, them... it happened in another world line, right?

Right – they didn't...

Attackgunfiredeathblood... bloodmayuriwatch...deadholeinthehead...deadDEADdead... strangleherkillher... die...deadmayuridead... ... FBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFBFB... NaeNaehereyestimeleap... revengerevengeREVENGE

Rintarou recoiled this time as one hand clutched his face while panting in the panic attack he just had. The three of them exchanged looks before Moeka stepped forward to ask if he was alright.

He'll forgive, he had to – if not, he wasn't sure what he would do when he looked at the three of them together.

The handler – the one who put the mark on him.

The subordinate – the one who had hunted him and his friends and killed Mayuri.

The broken child – the one who had been so obsessed on revenge she crossed time to stab him and Moeka.

The three broken souls under one roof, how fitting and ironic.

'I-I'm fine, it's nothing for Hououin Kyouma... MAD SCIENTIST!' Rintarou gave his trademark laughter before pausing as she stepped away from him.

'… Here, take this.'

'Oh – what's this, Okabe, are you hitting on my part-timer so soon? I haven't introduced her to you yet.' Mr. Braun bellowed while scowling at him.

But Rintarou did know who Moeka was, she had sent him a mail thanking him for his help in trying to locate the IBM 5100, that was their relation in this timeline. She didn't need to know they were closer after all – and this woman could be crazy strong if she wanted to... he had experienced it first hand when she had stolen her phone and held it away from her.

'Of course I know her, she's Shining Finger, we've met before.' Rintarou pointed a finger at Moeka who slowly nodded her head while explaining.

'Helped me when I was trying to find... the IBM 5100.' Moeka whispered while shooting confused looks at Mr. Braun. Guess her cover story was present, but he should have nothing to do with them now.

It was for the best – really, it was, for both parties.

'Mm... you're Lab Member 005... you're always welcome at the Future Laboratory, Shining Finger. It is your fate – and your destiny before you even stepped in here...' Rintarou stopped his delusional speech before giving her a small smile together with the corresponding Lab Member pin badge before making his exit, not even stopping when Mr. Braun called for him to explain himself for trying to influence his part-timer.

'Ah – right... this is your first part-timer, isn't it?' Rintarou suddenly stopped to ask Mr. Braun and the shopkeeper blinked before nodding his head.

'Uhm... Yeah, I didn't think I'll need one now, but a good deed deserves another one.'

'… I see... well, I'm sure you three will be fine.' Rintarou spoke sincerely that made the two adults looked very confused while Nae asked him if he was ill.

'You sound weirder... then normal...'

'That's just Steins;Gate's choice.' Rintarou answered softly before heading up the stairs leading to the Future Laboratory. If Okabe Rintarou, Hououin Kyouma, was quiet, something was definitely wrong.

* * *

'Okaerin~' Shiina Mayuri, the childhood friend of Rintarou beamed as she waved excitedly at him from the Future Laboratory. She was Lab Member 002, and one of his precious people. One that he had fought so hard to protect and to save, so he had to keep it together now and to show that he was okay.

'Is that Okarin and Okaeri (welcome home), together?' Hashida Itaru asked curiously as Rintarou looked fondly at his friends for a moment. Hashida Itaru (Daru) was his right hand man, the super hacker that had stuck with him thick and thin throughout the entire ordeal even if he was out of the loop for the most part. Without his skills, intelligence and genius with the computer, he would be lost a long time ago. He was also the one whom he had sent the D-Mail to, starting the chain of events, but he had also been the only one who could delete that D-Mail to return them to the Alpha World line.

However he could not blame what had happened to him on Daru, there was no one else to blame but himself as he was the one who had... pushed forward despite all the warning signs.

He shouldn't have insisted they hacked into SERN, if they hadn't they wouldn't have -

'Okarin? Okarin... you... don't look that good...' Mayuri asked him as she stared up from her standing position in front of him. How had she gotten here so fast? This wasn't the first time he had heard that from his friends, and it probably wouldn't be the last if he kept over thinking. Focus, Okabe Rintarou, don't throw away all you have worked for up till now!

He had almost lost control of himself when he saw a microwave sitting pretty at the _same spot_ where the microwave telephone had been before. It was all he could do not to run over there and to throw it out of the window but he had stopped himself, allowing Daru to explain to him that he had fixed it after salvaging it.

Seeing Daru looking so healthy, and Mayuri's innocent and childish face was worth it though. They were here, Mayuri won't die, Daru wouldn't be forced to labor over the decades due to his baggage. That's good, that's what he had fought for.

But if – if... Mayuri would be taken in front of him again, would he accept it this time? Or would be do the same thing, to play god, to make a device to change it all over again? He wouldn't know till that happens in front of him again, but out of anyone in the world. He knew how difficult and impossible it was to change the past.

The butterfly effect was always present, a small change might cause changes in the world that one would never expect. It could be big like the start of a war, or it could be trivial like losing some spare change.

The issue was that changing the past was unpredictable, and things would never pan out to be convenient for you or end up the way that you would want it.

He could create the time-machine again, but if it was that easy, if it was that simple, he wouldn't have to go through that hell that he did.

His decision was made for him – he... would have to accept it, even if it might not be Steins;Gate's will.

..

'Hmph, you are worrying over nothing, hostage of mine. The mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma, would not let a simple illness get me down. Besides, it is thanks to you, my hostage – that I was able to survive that dastardly attempt by the organisation to take my life!'

Rintarou declared loudly while pointing at Mayuri's forehead, one hand gripping her shoulder tightly. He had to keep up the act or they would think he was off his rocker for real, well, he was... but they did not need to know it.

'Again with your delusions, fail~' Daru gave a sigh and a scoff before pausing as Mayuri reached up to wrap an arm around his waist, causing him to raise an eyebrow in consideration of Mayuri's actions.

The three of them had been together for a very long time, and he knew he knew the two of them very well. Despite Rintarou's eccentricity, there was still genius in that mind of his. Despite his eighth grade syndrome turning off many others, he was also the most charismatic and engaging person that he had ever met. That was partly why he was still sticking close to Rintarou, it was even better that he appreciated his talents and skills.

Shiina Mayuri knew Rintarou even longer than he did, nothing too surprising as they were childhood friends, and as such Rintarou shouldn't be surprised at how mature Mayuri could be if she wanted to be.

She would _never_ be taken advantage of as although their friend might look innocent, she was also very perceptive and mature beyond her age.

'Okarin, you can tell Mayushii what is wrong, Mayushii is Okarin's hostage, so Mayushii will be with Okarin till he is better.

Mayuri showed that side of her now as he tried to comfort Rintarou, who looked like he was struggling to hug her back.

Daru watched for a moment before pulling his baseball cap down his head and returning to his games. He would allow the two of them a moment of privacy, that's what friends were for. Even if he was a little jealous at how the _real_ was again blessing Rintarou instead of him.

When was the _real_ going to die anyway!

* * *

'Are you feeling better now, Okarin? Mayushii can give you one of her Juicy Karaage Number 1 if it'll make Okarin feel better?' Mayuri smiled as she offered again after offering her Upa cushion to him to calm himself down. It hadn't really helped that much, the headaches were increasing, the memories were overlapping in a place filled with so many great and horrible memories all at the same time. He... he was close to breaking down altogether, and if it wasn't for Mayuri being with him and the thing he had to do, he would have bolted by now.

Mayuri was right and what was wrong was only now dawning on him. He had experienced flashbacks and nightmares before but they hadn't been increasing in intensity the last few days. Perhaps all the stress was catching up with him after meeting an influx of familiar people all in one go?

'Yeah... Thank you.' Rintarou answered softly while staring at Mayuri fondly. He'll never take her for granted again, that was something he had promised after sacrificing Kurisu before returning to the Alpha World Line.

Mayuri looked surprised for a moment but gave another one of her all encompassing happy smile as she beamed back at him.

'Mayushii, there is something with Okabe today, by now he'll be saying that the Mad Scientist and delusions again...' Daru too gave him a worried look that Rintarou tried to brush off as he gave him a grin in reply.

'Why my right hand man, Super Hackah – I don't need you being all tsundere on me too. The work of the Mad Scientist is never done, the organization won't allow me to rest – ever.' It was a half hearted attempt but his words made Daru a little more relieved.

'Shut up, I don't need that from you, Okabe. But... she's right, you don't look good. Mayushii, I think you should take him back home. He's not himself today.' Daru suggested with a frown while sitting on his chair.

His two friends were so worried about him, that alone was enough for him, but he wasn't done yet, no he was here for only one reason today, if he didn't get it done, there wasn't any reason for him to check out of hospital that early to pick up the badges.

'Chasing me away from the lab that I had created?! How could, you, my RIGHT HAND MAN!'

Rintarou started but Daru pointedly pulled out his phone and tapped a finger on it.

'Not talking to your friend over the phone today, Okarin? Stop forcing yourself.'

'Mayushii thinks so too! Daru-kun knows what he is saying!' Mayuri chipped in while Daru looked at him sternly, causing Rintarou to raise his hands in surrender.

'Fine, I'll be going back after this...' Rintarou leaned back before producing two more lab member pin badges and handing it to an eager Mayuri who stared at it in excitement.

'Ohh! So it's finally ready! You picked it up yourself?' Daru nodded in appreciation as he accepted the pin badge from Rintarou. He had been surprised when his friend had begged him to find a specific street salesman to make a specific pin badge for him.

He hadn't known what his intent was to make the items, but the way he was begging him, he had relented and had sought out that suspicious man and had placed his order for him while he was in hospital.

Eight pin badges and he was giving them out to them, he wondered what this badge symbolizes. He has long given up trying to make sense of the person known as Okabe Rintarou.

'Lab Member 002, Lab Member 003, Mayuri, Daru, these are the proof of being members of the Future Laboratory, bond that transcends time and space... I hope you can treasure them.' Rintarou spoke sincerely with a bit of his delusion mixed into his words. His two friends looked at him curiously, probably judging whether he was being sincere. Well, Daru was at any rate, Mayuri was jumping excitedly at getting a gift from him.

'It's pretty! I'll wear it all the time! We need it to enter the lab right? I'll put it on right now!' Mayuri asked even as she struggled to put the pin badge on.

After watching her struggle for a while, Rintarou decided to help pin it on her dress and watched on as she danced around the club in excitement.

'You've never bought anything for us, the lab members, Okarin... So why the sudden change? And is it that important?' Daru asked suspiciously while Rintarou laughed.

'Suspicious aren't you today, Super Hakah. It is truly me, HOUOUIN KYOUMA! The organisation hasn't replaced me with a clone, even if they tried with their attempts to clone me while in the hospital.' Rintarou took a deep breath before laughing maniacally like he was used to.

'Someone has to, Okarin... don't push yourself, buddy.' Daru shook his head at his stubbornness before raising an eyebrow again when Rintarou produced another badge, placed it into a box he had prepared before placing it on the top of a shelf in the lab.

'What's that for, is that yours, Okarin?' Mayuri asked and that made Rintarou smile as he pushed his messy hair back with a flourish.

'That's for Lab member 008, we'll see her in seven years time.' Rintarou spoke sincerely before taking his leave, waving off Mayuri's attempt to help him.

'I'll be fine...'

'But where will you be resting, Okarin? Are you going back home?' Mayuri asked worriedly as Rintarou shrugged.

'I need some fresh air, I'll be back in an hour, I promise.' Rintarou gave her a last reassuring smile before he left the laboratory by himself.

'Mayushii is worried, Daru-kun.' Mayuri was frowning as she turned back to look at her friend.

'… Did he knock his head or something, Mayushii? He's... unexpectedly serious for once. Maybe he finally came out of his eighth grade syndrome?' Daru suggested but the suggestion was dismissed by Mayuri as she frowned while reaching for her Upa cushion.

'It's not that... Mayushii, feels that Okarin is sad... very sad and afraid.'

'Afraid? Okarin?'

'Mm mm... oh, oh – Daru-kun! Mayushii wanted to ask Okarin earlier, but...'

She can't, went unsaid but Mayuri brightened up and continued on nonetheless.

'There's writing, right? It says: OSHMKUFA 2010. The 2010... is this year, neh?'

'Mm... it could be for an anniversary?' Daru asked while looking at the pin badge he left on the table.

'Okabe, Shiina, Hashida, and then Urushibara and Faris... They are Lab members, neh? But the remaining... M, K, and A... who are they -?'

* * *

There was no major deviations with the world like Rintarou had feared, it was Akihabara like he had remembered it to be. That one time that Feiris NyanNyan had her turn with the D-Mail, it had changed Akihabara from being moe's headquarters back to the quiet electronic street that might slowly die due to it's stagnancy.

All was right with the world, and Rintarou looked up to Radio Kaikan. There wasn't any hole there, no satellite crashing through the top floors and no Time-machine either.

The first thing he had did after reaching Steins;Gate was to ascertain whether there was any recent murder incidents at Radio Kaikan. He was still drenched in blood then, with a hole in his chest and it was a miracle he had survived at all up till then due to his injuries. He had only survived due to Daru and Mayuri's assistance in getting an ambulance.

Suzuha had brought him back at the rooftop, where Daru and Mayuri was waiting – if they questioned why and how he had gotten the injury, he didn't hear those questions, he also never answered any when he was hospitalized. God bless them for covering up for him.

Rintarou was also very, very satisfied when another of his objectives, the destruction of the "Nakabachi Thesis" was successful. Even if Doctor Nakabachi was to try and rewrite the paper, Kurisu would prevent it. He was sure of it, that much, he could, 100% guarantee.

The daughter was more respected than the father, and she would not take it lightly that her father would steal her thesis and tried to publish it. He just hoped that she would lose interest in time-travel, this was the genius girl who had figured out what the microwave telephone was used for, had created the time-leap machine and was sharp enough to pick up and understand his predicament.

His only ally between the world lines till she had made that ultimate choice to save Mayuri by sacrificing herself.

Then he was at the Alpha World Line where Mayuri would die, and was at the crux, the final pinnacle moment where there was only _one _thing left to do to save Mayuri.

All he had to do was the delete the first D-Mail that he had inadvertently sent from SERN's database. With that D-Mail gone, they would not be able to back-trace the source back to the the Future Laboratory and Mayuri would not die at the hands of SERN.

He had went through countless nightmares, of many deaths and sacrifices to reach that final divergence of the world line to make it all right, to bring him back to the original timeline where Mayuri would not die.

Where SERN did not create a dystopia and where the time machine would not be created by a coerced Kurisu.

He was _one_ step away, but the final sacrifice to be made was the one that he had been unwilling to be made, one that the sacrifice herself had insisted he do anyway.

The price for saving Mayuri and returning to the Beta World Line would be returning to the World Line that Makise Kurisu would be dead, _murdered – _how could he make that sacrifice?

But she had did it anyway, and with the deletion of the first D-Mail, he returned to Beta World Line where he believed that he would have to watch his beloved die till his future self 15 years from now showed him the way – to reach the Steins;Gate World Line, where both Kurisu and Mayuri would be alive.

This was the World Line he was in now, only he was still having his doubts on whether everything was over, and whether he could _ever_ be sane again after what he had went through.

Especially when he knew, rationally, that only _one_ of him had made it here. Out of the countless world lines, this might be the world line that he, Okabe Rintarou _wanted_ to be. But what about the other Okabe Rintarou's that he had left behind?

His ability, 'Reading Steiner' allowed him the ability to retain memories from other World Lines, it was an ability that he was unable to control. Many times, even in the Steins;Gate world line, he had no idea what he had been doing before, the memories from his 'previous' self was rewritten by the 'new' self due to the the time-leap.

So the same applies when he moves from one world-line to another, time goes on and the world-line that he had 'left' would still go on. Mayuri would die and all the sacrifices before would be in vain. The weight of that burden of endless failures and this one single chance at a miracle was crushing.

The Okabe Rintarou left at the Beta World-line would remember all of his struggles and perhaps might take faith that _one_ of him would have saved Mayuri and Kurisu. That was all he had to cling on to, but perhaps that was enough.

Didn't one version of him work on time-machines for 15 years under the threat of World War III to save Kurisu and to save the world? He just hoped that the people he sacrificed, all of his laboratory members in the other world-lines understood and forgave him if he revealed the truth to him.

..

As Rintarou walked down the streets aimlessly, having nothing to do and wanting to just clear his mind, he contemplated on his lost beloved. Did he ever said that he loved her? Perhaps he did, perhaps he didn't, he couldn't remember. But his feelings for her was the real deal, and if he could see her now... but perhaps not seeing her was for the best.

In Steins;Gate, the two of them had not met before prior to bumping into her in the staircase and saying that he'll save her.

The second time they met, he did save her, by protecting her from his crazed father. The hole in his stomach was due to him taking a hit for Kurisu instead. Apparently she did report that he was stabbed to the police, but the search for the victim had gone dry long ago.

Kurisu was still alive as her death would be widely reported, especially with her father, Doctor Nakabachi being arrested by the Russian authorities for babbling about his thesis. He wasn't the originator, so he would be unable to produce the gods. God knows what would happen to him after this, especially if Kurisu was not going to help him.

Even if she was alive, Rintarou had not contacted her, nor gone to meet her. He could, but perhaps it was best that he didn't. She had her own life to live after all – and he had been hospitalized for a month, even if he did know her contact details, he also knew she was leaving around August. She had no reason to stay here after all.

She should be back in the states, but Rintarou couldn't help but wonder whether she was living happily now, thinking of a new problem with that genius intellect.

There were two pin badges left. One of them was for Lab Member 001 – for Rintarou himself, the other, for Lab Member 004 would probably never reach her. But she was alive, that much he was happy for and he would keep this badge for her, remembering how he had sacrificed her _once_. That was one time too many... and although he had stabbed her too, but in the end, he had saved her.

The time he spent with her and the rest of his future laboratory members in the other world-lines, only he would remember.

Reading Steiner, it was such a curse and a boon. He won't want to forget them, if it was not affecting him so much now.

His migraine returned and Rintarou bent his knee as he tried to keep a grip on his nerves as he focused on what he has achieved.

He had prevented World War III from happening, a dystopia from being created and even if those two doomsday scenario might still happen, at least the catalyst wouldn't come from the Future Laboratory. The future was bright, with, or without him with them, for everyone. He was sure of it.

..

Getting his breath back, Rintarou stood up from his position before freezing at the sight of who it was in front of him.

The girl that shouldn't be here, who was looking at him cautiously but hopefully.

There was no way that he would have forgotten how she looked like, the the reddish hair, grey eyes and that ridiculously impractical outfit of hers. He had seen her scoff at him, mock him, laugh with him, blush as they kissed and had even seen her cry.

But this was the first time he had seen her with that expression on her face, tears forming at the side of her eyes as she stared at him in a mixture of disbelief and relief.

He had recognized her, but she was the first to do so – or was she just concerned for a stranger that was having difficulty at the streets?

She shouldn't be here, she should be in the States, heck they weren't even acquaintances. So why? Why did she look so happy all of a sudden as she offered a hand to him.

'I've... finally found you.'

She spoke softly, her voice containing a mixture of raw emotions that threatened to overflow. She was _never_ so emotional before, not even when she had decided to leave. Her voice, everything about her was occupying every fibre of Rintarou's body and soul.

'I've been looking for you all this time. Ever since you saved me back then, always – I wanted to say at least one word of gratitude to you.'

Then, of all things, she started tearing up as she grabbed his hand, clutching it tightly as she stepped closer. Rintarou found himself confused, floored, embarrassed, overwhelmed, desperate and like he was in love all over again. This wasn't that Makise Kurisu that he was used to – this wasn't the Makise Kurisu he was in love with, and yet, it was still her.

He was sure of it, Kurisu just... never, showed her emotions to him before in this way, the same way that he has never shown her his.

'I wanted to meet you, no matter what. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It's... good that you're safe.'

Even while crying tears of relief as she suddenly lunged at him, grabbing him in a hug, she was radiant and after so long of not seeing her, after fearing that he would _never_ be able to see her again.

Having her do that to him, the emotions he felt were... powerful. He wanted to cry, and with his cheeks burning, Rintarou wanted an escape and he reached for his phone, only to realize that with Kurisu hugging him so tightly, it'll be a struggle for him to do so.

And he loathed, he didn't want to break this hug with her no matter what.

They didn't know each other, and Kurisu, she was being sincere, she was showing the true extent of her feelings for him.

And he, should return the favor.

Instead of escaping into his delusions, Okabe Rintarou cleared his throat and spoke:

'So we meet again, Christina – no, Maki - ' Rintarou resisted the urge to facepalm as those words came out without him realizing it but before he could correct himself, Kurisu had answered while pushing him away with an annoyed look on her face.

'No – How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not Christina or your assistant or –'

Both of them froze at the unexpected words from her, she looking more confused than he was while Rintarou's mind was buzzing.

The Kurisu of this world-line should have never heard those nicknames before, they were irrelevant to her as they had never met. They were meaningless yet familiar nicknames to him that should not make sense to her. And yet, she reacted, somehow, she reacted. Another minor miracle.

However Kurisu recovered first as she blushed and looked at him.

'… The words just popped into my head, why...? B-But I'm... sorry. Do, I remind you of someone named Christina?' Kurisu was being logical as always instead of dwelling on what couldn't be explained that easily. But right now, it seems thanking him was of higher priority. No doubt that would change later on, but now... he was satisfied.

Reading... Steiner? Everyone have that ability to some extent, the world-line might change, reconstructing the past and the future, diverging, changing and making new links.

They were all still one and the same though, and so even if there was _only one_ Okabe Rintarou who reached Steins;Gate, the other Okabe Rintarou' might know and acknowledge that another _him _succeed in the end.

Because he was a stubborn fool who had been pushed too far.

Everyone might forget, but memories do accumulate, and even if this was within the Beta World-line, where in all _other_ scenarios, she would have died. She was given the chance to remember, or perhaps because this was the only World-Line she survived, her Reading Steiner was stronger? Who knows? All Rintarou cared now was that the 'forgotten days' that they had spent together, might not be forgotten after all.

The memories the two of them had spun – they were still there. He had to believe, and to greet her properly.

'… You do. There's only one Christina... one assistant, one person, that I have to save.' He started weakly, but got stronger as Kurisu listened to him. The crowd around them, walking along the street had long been forgotten. The were only the two of them now in the streets to the two of them, and the beauty of the future was that, no one knew what was going to happen between the two of them.

..

'Did I save you, Makise Kurisu?' The man in front of Makise Kurisu asked hoarsely, unsure what reaction he would be getting from her. What reaction did he think she would give? This was the savior that she had spent so much time trying to track down, the person who had saved her like he had promised. The man who could have died for someone that he didn't even know.

Or did she know him? Those words, that had popped into her mind was confusing him.

She, recognized him the moment she laid eyes on him in the middle of the road. There was no possible way for her to make the connection _that_ easily, even if she tried to remember him for what he has done for her.

She _knew_ him, she recognized him and in his presence, she felt comfortable, like she had been with him for the longest time possible.

'You... did... thank you, you... kept your promise.' She replied softly, shyly and the man gave her the happiest smile she could ever remembered before pulling out something from his pockets.

'This... isn't the first time we've met, Chris- no, Makise... Kurisu.' He held out the item, a pin badge in his hands as a gift, was that a gift? She did not know, but she was also inexplicably overwhelmed when he spoke her name.

'You called me, by my name?' Just by that alone, it mattered to her and when she took the pin badge from him. It felt warm, his hands felt warm, and she felt safe. It was very, very odd, but it wasn't just her feelings of being saved that was causing this warmth she felt.

He blushed from her words and she found herself clutching the pin badge in one hand while playing with her hair with the other, just as embarrassed as he was.

The two of them _just_ met, only it wasn't true, she knew this man, somehow... and she wanted to know _why_ that was the case.

'You are Lab Member 004.' He spoke suddenly and she blinked before looking at him curiously.

'Lab Member? You have... a laboratory?'

'Which you are a member of, Chri- Makise...' He stuttered again, causing Kurisu to be curious. Who was this Christina that so reminded him of her?

'Would... you tell me about Christina, erm...' She didn't even have his name, and she was trying to fish for it when it clicked.

"Okabe -"

The two of them spoke at the same time and the man looked surprised again before looking to the side while scratching his head.

'Okabe Rintarou... that's my name. Although... I call myself...' Okabe hesitated and Kurisu waited patiently before he seemed to have made a decision.

'I am also known as the mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma.' He suddenly declared before laughing out loud, the volume and confidence of his laughter making her gawk and she hurried to stop him by cupping her hands over his mouth before pulling him away, lowering her head to hide her shame.

'Seriously, Okabe, can't you get a handle on yourself?' There was that familiarity again, one that she couldn't understand. This was the first time they had met, and yet – interacting with him was easier than anyone she had met so far.

She, didn't _know him right?_

This wasn't deja vu, it was something buried deep inside her that only awakened when with him.

'… Do you, know me?' Okabe asked weakly when they were now relatively alone in one of the alley ways.

'… I, I don't know... I think I, do... but, I don't know why.' She stuttered weakly, her mind in a mess as the two of them stood beside each other. She was sure that Okabe Rintarou, whoever he was, was just as confused as she was. That was _good_, it meant that she wasn't imagining it.

She had the _nagging_ feeling that the Christina he was fond of, was... her, but that wasn't possible – she did not know him, right?

'I don't... I think I know why. It'll be an incredible story, but...' He hesitated again, looking unsure of himself. It was a good thing that she wanted to know what was going on too, right?

'I'll listen to you, Okabe Rintarou. It's, the least I could do.' She answered honestly and blushed when he beamed at her. He was so happy just looking at her, just having her willing to listen to her could make him seem so happy? What gives?

Kurisu did not want to admit it, but it made her happy too to see him so happy – what was wrong with her?

'But, I would like to say something first, Makise Kurisu.'

'What is it then?'

'You might not believe me, you can call me crazy... I am, a mad scientist after all.' He chuckled at that while she just frowned. It wasn't really that funny.

'No matter what you believe, no matter what, no matter what world-line Okabe Rintarou would be in, he would love Christina, my assistant. That is constant and won't ever change.' Okabe declared without a hint of hesitation, and his declaration caused Kurisu's heart to flutter and the heat to rush to her face. That was his confession wasn't it? To Christina, to... her? Why did she just think that?!

'And as to why you might remember, what do you think of Microwave telephones, Makise Kurisu?'

'What do I feel about them? What is that? Is that an experiment?' She asked quietly as he started walking slowly from the alleyway. She followed him, curiosity overwhelming her embarrassment while Okabe just chuckled to himself.

'That was Steins;Gate's choice, just like it is now...'

'That didn't explain anything, explain, Okabe!'

..

Towards a future where no one would know what would happen – that's a choice Steins;Gate couldn't make for the two of them.

* * *

**Author's Notes: There's also a shockingly little amount of fics for Steins';Gate. Perhaps I should officially pull S;G with P3P? Haha~**


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